We are socialize people and need each others.
You can not live by your own and still avoid to contact with other people.
Okay, some of you can, if you trap on the jungle for a months :).
After that, you will start to talk with trees, animals, rocks, etc.
Yes, that’s one solution to keep you alive and keep normal think.
If you remember movie Alvin & Chipmunk 2 or Cast Away.
In the movie, A man is marooned on an island after his plane crashes into the ocean. Far away from home, his girlfriend, and any human contact, he engages in a battle of wits with himself as he is tested mentally, physically, and emotionally in order to survive (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0162222/).
I one of Tom Hanks huge fans.
This time, we are not talk about movie or Tom Hanks.
Just to keep you awake that we need each others.
So, respect every moment with all peoples, because we don’t know what is their reaction when get a statement from you.
Remember, a word or statement is like a sword and knife, it will kill somebody’s heart.
Just respect and be careful what your statement is.
Okay, just start with surrounding peoples, from family, closed friends, etc.
There is a happy family with 3 children and a dog, with 10 years of marriage.
Let say, daughter 8 years, boy 5 years, and baby 1 years of children.
In this age of kid, they always need a huge attention from parents.
Sometimes could kill you with their habit or request.
But, still, they are your family, right.
Case 1 – 8 years old, is very quit person.
She always stay at home, just study, never go out with friends, doesn’t have a lot of friends, maybe only less than 3 person at school.
When the time come to have a semester report, her teacher tell you that this kid need more socialize.
Yes, she is very brilliant, but still have no friends.
Then after that, you come home, talk to your daughter about it.
You ask why but she still quiet and just hold on her teddy bear.
Then the climax was you said that “I need you to be more like A. Learn from her and follow her famous community”.
Your daughter still quiet but inside her, he just don’t understand why her father need her to change.
She just don’t get it the purpose and values for change.
She likes the way she is now.
Then she ask her mother.
Her mother explain that your father did not meant that.
He just want you to explore another things beyond your hobbies now.
The way of mother’s explanation is not judge or blame, but give a different point of view.
This young girl understand and start to communicate with new peoples in school and home.
Of course, its takes time and family support.
After a year, this young girl have a small group of peoples who have a same hobbies.
10 years later, she become a beautiful and smartest girl in school and get a scholarship to best university.
On this point, I just want to point of rather than “comparing”, focus on the other things that he/she like to improve.
Case 2 – young boy, 5 years old.
Okay, this young boy is very different with his sister.
He is very active, sometimes more destructive, and forceful to everybody.
Sometimes your house become a big ship with all staff everywhere and sometimes makes the youngest (6 months kid) has a little injured.
Even his teachers and neighborhood, compliant about him.
Okay, this is your job as a parents.
This case, the mother advice young boy to be more good habit.
Mother say “You are my precious treasure, my smart boy, but pls stop doing that. It’s not right. You can injured somebody”.
What’s your idea of this statement?
Yes, every mother do this, but why it’s not always correct way?
Remember, your 5 years kid, still need to figure it out, what the best on him, searching for his idol and super hero.
This young kid think that his mother always blame him with “but… word”.
Then he come to father, ask and complaint about it.
Okay, this is father and son talk.
Rather than stand on your wife or kids point of view, this husband give another view.
You said that “Son, lets see Avenger movie just both of us”.
This young kid said, “wow, thanks Dad. I love it. Can I choose the seat and buy a popcorn”.
Dad said “Sure, it’s father and son’s time”.
Then, both of you go to movie.
Your son very excited and always talk to you on the movie.
After that, both of you go for a food near that place.
Dad said “How’s the movie? Who is your super hero?”.
Son said “I like Iron Man. He smart, rich, not too nice, but he powerful and help team”.
Dad said “Okay, do you want to be him 20 years latter?”
Son said “Yes, I want it”.
Dad said “Okay, you said that he smart and rich. If you want to be like that, study smart for next 20 years, focus on your goals, don’t waste your energy to disturb people, use it to develop your potential power, like the blue energy on his chest.
Then you said he not too nice but still powerful and help the team. Then you must use your power to help peoples around you, be nice with people, but still become the way you are.
Still, you need to focus to become Iron Man in next 20 years”.
Son said “wow, thanks Dad. You give me a clue. I will do that. I want to become Iron Man. I love you Dad. You are the best Dad in the world”.
Times goes by, and takes first 2 years to remind him that his 20 years goal is become Iron Man.
When this young boy become mature, he become one of the the rich people in his town, build a small lab and R&D place.
He invest some of useful things and get a huge donation to expand his research.
Okay, maybe this is rare case, but some of us experiences it.
The point is you need to give a good statement.
Okay, what about the office and managing employees?
It still same.
They are a human, young, mature, old, still, peoples with their own heart.
Respect them and use a great way to talk and have a positive appraisal time.
You can read another article, as follow.
Employee feedback, especially the negative kind, can be difficult to give and to take, which is why so many people dread the performance review process.
It doesn’t help that when employers say one thing, employees hear another thing entirely. Employers need to think about what they’re trying to communicate and how it might sound to employees to avoid any confusion or resentment.
To make the process of providing and receiving employee feedback more productive and less dreadful, here are five things no employee wants to hear, and what employers should say instead:
1. “You’re doing a great job, but …”
What the employee hears: “but …”
It’s never a good idea to begin a piece of constructive criticism with a compliment for the simple fact that the praise will go in one ear and out the other. Instead, focus separately on what the employee does successfully and what needs a little extra TLC.
Recognizing employees for their achievements will soften the blow of any constructive feedback they might receive — regardless of when it’s said. But focusing on their achievements apart from that criticism will ensure that employees don’t miss out on feedback that encourages them to continue doing what they do well.
2. “I need you to be more like [blank].”
What the employee hears: That person “is a better employee than you.”
Always focus on the employee receiving the feedback. Throwing other employees into the mix — whether it’s to demonstrate their superiority or inferiority — can do more harm than good. Employees will begin to see their peers as competition, which can lead to increased tension and a lack of teamwork in the workplace.
Instead of comparing employees, evaluate performance in comparison with the company’s mission, vision and values.
3. “Hopefully, we’ll be able to start training you soon.”
What the employee hears: “We’re going to start training next week.”
Words such as “hopefully” and “soon” fall on deaf ears. To avoid any misconceptions, it’s best to hold off on sharing development plans until those plans are closer to coming to fruition. Sharing company expectations and then failing to deliver can have a negative effect on management, the company and the employer brand as a whole.
As an alternative, consider discussing the employee’s expectations for the future and how the company can help fulfill those expectations.
4. “How do you think you’ve been performing?
What the employee hears: “I already know how you’re performing, but want to see if you’re aware.”
Not only does this question come off as a trick question, but it also fails to elicit truly honest answers. Employees might think they’re doing amazing jobs, but they may not be willing to blow their own horns. On the other hand, they might be aware that their performance has taken a hit, but probably won’t want to point that out. Don’t ask, tell employees how they’re performing and focus on moving forward.
5. “I’m cutting you some slack since …”
What the employee hears: “If you were anyone else, you’d be fired.”
Whether it’s during a formal performance review or a casual check-in, employee feedback should be constructive. This isn’t the time to discipline employees, but rather a time to identify areas for improvement and come up with a solid plan to address and improve on any issues.
Avoid saying anything that could be subject to negative interpretation by employees. Instead, opt to provide criticism in a constructive way, and offer ways to help employees improve.
Author by Andre Lavoie, 5 August 2015
Access on 12 August 2015.