The Emotional Impulses That Poison Healthy Teams

Have you try to create a good team?

Is it a good enough to you? Or you choose to have a great team?

Great team is not easy to develop.

You must create it either develop since beginning or choose the best from the best of the best people.

To develop a great team, there are several poison that must be avoided.

1. Have “I” in a team.

“I” is someone who always said that he is the best, and always asking reward, said that this team contribution is come from him.

This is bad, since there’s no team work if you have such a men like this on your team.

This situation always happen and you as a Leader, need to fix it.

Change this people with new behavior or change the people.

2. Have no trust, did not care with people, and always negative thinking.

Great Leader always put a big trust on team, care, and always give a positive way even they are on trouble.

Do you read or watch Legend of Three Kingdoms?

Remember Guan Yu? He is my favorite Leader.

He always put a trust on team, know that they will do the best.

He also care with his team who sick and can not join war.

3. Have no commitment, focus always on short term target, always change the priority without notice team.

Great Leader always have a commitment and stick with long term target.

Leader never change minds every time.

Even with single instruction or said nothing at all, the team will follow the path and do by them self.

If you have a Leader that has a 3 above point, talk with you HR or Leader directly.

But, with no hurt felling, be professional.

Now, lets get back to reality and search for real example on your house.

Let say that a Leader in your house is Husband.

As a Leader, he is responsible for search for income, investment, financial planning, and pension.

If husband have short target or planning, he could spend all income into non productive debt, don’t think about children education and even pension scheme.

It’s an example of commitment and short team target.

You can find an article, as follow.



Paradoxically, it helps to learn what not to do with teams, before moving to what to do to make our teams more effective. Let’s look at some common mistakes even good people make when working together:

  1. Forget your emotional intelligence (EI) and let your amygdala do the talking: Act on feelings and impulses, and don’t filter what you signal, say or do. Don’t let pesky things like social constraints or norms get in the way. Get really pissed off—and stay that way—when someone gets more than you do. Stereotype people who are different from you. Say what’s on your mind then excuse your behavior by telling people that you’re just honest and transparent, which maybe you are, but you’re also just being mean, and if it’s your direct reports, you’re bullying. Unfortunately, given the stress that people deal with at work today, an awful lot of people are walking around in a permanent state of amygdala hijack.
  1. Stick to your guns: Awful phrase. How about “My way or the highway”? Same idea. If you want to ruin a team, be rigid, single minded, and obsessive about your goals or how to get things done.
  1. See the glass half-empty: If you want to mess with people’s minds and kill a team’s spirit, focus on everything that could go wrong. Scare people. Be cynical. Emotions are contagious; and negative emotions and the cynicism and biting humor that go with them kill the trust, creativity, enthusiasm, and happiness that are so important to group success.
  1. Truly don’t care about people: I once worked with an executive who was, in fact, blowing up his teams­—and his family. He was at risk of losing the prize at work—the CEO job he’d been promised because he got results. The leaders of this company had, thankfully, figured it out. That this guy got results at the expense of every person and team he touched. Naturally, these results weren’t sustainable. When I asked him why he did this, he told me straight out: “I don’t care about those people.” “Really?” I asked. Underneath this total lack of empathy was a profound belief that his goals, and his way of accomplishing them, were more important. And he was smarter, so what those other people needed—well, it just didn’t matter. It wasn’t until he realized that he was blowing up his family—his wife was about to leave him and his kids had given up asking him to do things with them—that he understood why he was ruining every group and ultimately every part of the business he touched.
  1. Don’t think too much—especially about your motives and feelings: Lack of self-awareness, whether conscious or not, is at the heart of pretty much all of the bad behavior I’ve seen in teams. Take the executive I mentioned above. When we really got down to it, the reason he was blowing everybody up was because he was scared. So, he got them before they could get him at work. And at home, he was scared of intimacy. Yes, he loved his wife and kids. But he just wasn’t ready for real intimacy—so he kept them all at bay.

A final note: That executive I worked with? He worked hard to develop his EI, especially self-awareness, empathy, and self-management. He got the job. And he applied what he learned about himself and his impact on others to his family. He started really seeing his wife and kids, maybe for the first time in years. It took time, but they became close again.


Access on 23 July 2015.


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